I copyedited it, though, so you can see where the mistakes were.Īlso, I don't see the connection to Beautiful All Along. Trope-wise, however, "Real people desire friends" isn't really tropeable. This is by far the most common trope in all hacking portrayals, and for good reason: real hacking is not interesting to look at and it can. The dynamic visuals of hacking movies are stunningly inaccurate. "One thing is for sure:" pretty much always has a colon after it. After careful study of this growing genre, we’ve assembled a list of hacking tropes that occur regularly. Relationships can be counted, so you want "few" and "many" not "little" and "much" - that's for things that can't be counted, like the amount of mashed potatoes on your plate. "Is not limited to" - "Is" is the verb, you don't need to add another verb, so don't put "be" after it. You want "No people" instead of "None people". "None" stands by itself, without anything to modify. "This wish is expressed by Shy" - you want "shy people". Keep an eye on when a sentence ends don't try to squish too much into one sentence.
The number one issue I'm seeing is run-on sentences. It seems you're sticking in a comma whenever there's a lot of words at once, but you can write rather long sentences without needing commas at all. Infamous 2's evil ending was supposed to be canon-until player data changed it 'I wrote the evil ending of the game to be the continuation,' studio head Nate Fox said. Same thing between a link and the link text. At the end, however, the lightning forms a question mark, implying he may still be alive. You don't need a comma between the subject and the verb: "this Wish-Fulfillment is common", not "this Wish-Fulfillment, is common", or "The person enjoying the fantasy often" without a comma between fantasy and often. In the good timeline, which according to Word of God is canon, Cole and all other conduits are killed. Also, it goes comma, then space, not space, then comma. A couple comma issues: in the second paragraph, "like I Just Want to Be Loved" is parenthetical phrase (a phrase that can be taken out of the sentence without making it incomplete), just like "in and of itself" in the first, and thus needs commas.
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